my hardened heart

if you leap in
no hesitations, clothes on, smiling, breathless
and it turns out the water
is a little too shallow,
and cold enough to bite at your skin-
you thought you wanted this so badly that you stay
ignoring the discomfort and pain
until it becomes unbearable
and you have to get out
or freeze to death-

will you dive in so fully
the next time?

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