i am choking on nothing but air
it fills my lungs and settles in
dense and coarse
like a towel left too long on the bathroom floor
i can’t cough it up
or swallow it down
it just lingers
Anxiety
adrift
everything is wound up tight
my heart my chest my mind my voice
my guts are tangled, knotted, frayed
there’s fire in my lungs
and ice in my veins
there’s no hope of rescue
respite
or relief
there’s only one thought:
just remember to breathe
can you feel it
the stink hanging in the air-
the pervasive rut of sadness that crawls
into your knees and hangs in your shins
like stones-
the toxic wave of anxiety
that creeps into your muscles
like an ache you were fucking born with-
the stink of helplessness,
the stink happiness left rotting in its shadow,
that fucking stink-
this rain needs to wash that shit away
because we
are suffocating
a spike in your heart rate
in one, two, three
out one, two, three
your fingers itch for a cigarette
that ancient comfort
still tugging at your heart and lungs
in one, two, three
out one, two, three
your feet itch to get moving
but there’s nowhere to go
all you can do is wait and breathe
in one, two, three
out one, two, three
steady yourself
and remember
that the world
will keep on turning
Petals
flower petals flutter in my chest
they flit and float
but refuse to lie still
Alone they are soft and fragile-
easy things
Together, they are a frenzy-
a malestrom whirling about with scores of razor sharp rims
wrenching the air from my lungs
and bleeding the dreams from my heart
