if you leap in
no hesitations, clothes on, smiling, breathless
and it turns out the water
is a little too shallow,
and cold enough to bite at your skin-
you thought you wanted this so badly that you stay
ignoring the discomfort and pain
until it becomes unbearable
and you have to get out
or freeze to death-
will you dive in so fully
the next time?
i am not a person who cries
i watch ten hours of tv in two days
read three different series of books
write forty poems
play the same videogame for four weeks straight
i am not a person who cries
but this is a thing i can’t avoid
and the tears come at odd moments
at the sink getting water
walking to the bathroom
picking a sock up off the floor
i am not a person who cries
but nothing else is enough
to escape this
i am made of glass
and my fragile heart has shattered all over the floor
if i bend down to pick up the shards
more of me will break
and soon
i will be nothing but pieces
Cassandra Bell 